can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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