Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
