Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
