I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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