Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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