bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
