just survived the first fart of the relationship.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
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