so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
