I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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