absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
