My nipple is on Facebook.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
