I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
