she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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