Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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