Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
This baby is an asshole
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
