so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
even my farts smell like vagina
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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