and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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