that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
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When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
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We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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