I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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