Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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