shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
