So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
