how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
