my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
