ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
