I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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