You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
