So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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