Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
