does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
