We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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