i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
