Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
