I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
