whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize