I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize