youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just high enough for therapy.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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