i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
