Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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