A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
