the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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