in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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