why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
