Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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