She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize