whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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