Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
