I love black thongs
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
