Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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