Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
