Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
