They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
