You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
