I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
