I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
