But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
