You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
