sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
