Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
