Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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