My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
